Releasing the Shame of Rest During Menstruation

Rest doesn't feel restful if we're judging ourselves for it the whole time. Let's unpack our beliefs around rest so that rest can actually be RESTFUL.

Are you ever overcome with guilt or shame when you’re resting? 

And then when you sit down to rest, it doesn’t actually feel restful because you’re judging yourself the whole time, thinking of all the other things you could be doing other than resting?

I’m a huge advocate for rest during menstruation, but it can be really hard to actually let ourselves rest because we either don’t have time to rest due to the demands of work and life, or we feel guilty when we do have the time

Why is rest important during menstruation?

During menstruation your hormones estrogen and progesterone are naturally at their lowest levels - these are the hormones that help give you energy and make you feel good, but when they’re at their lowest levels, you’re going to naturally feel more tired.

Menstruation is also related to the energy of winter, which holds the vibe of hibernation. We don’t wake hibernating bears to go out and find food during the winter because it goes against nature and they’d probably be really angered by that. But yet, we do this to menstruating humans all the time like it’s normal, and it’s not.

When you’re not able to rest during menstruation, your period can feel like more of a burden. Your mood swings might increase, you might have more painful cramps, or you might feel completely exhausted. These are all ways your body is talking to you and trying to tell you to rest.

Rest and Privilege

I can sit here and tell you to rest while bleeding, but it’s not always possible for all of us to take a full few days of rest due to the demands of work and life and the patriarchal capitalist world we live in that has no systems or structures in place to support us in resting while bleeding.

Rest should be a birthright, but in our society, rest is a privilege. Some of us have the privilege to rest for the first few full days of bleeding, but others need to weave in 5-10 minutes of rest here and there throughout the day

Rest doesn’t need to be profound. It doesn’t need to be a whole day ceremony with candles, tea, meditation, and journaling .. It can just be 5-10 minutes of stillness, of being in nature, lying down, or connecting to your breath.

Sometimes on days when I barely have space to rest, I’ll go outside and set an alarm for 5 or 10 minutes on my phone, not to make sure I stop resting after that time, but to make sure I rest up until that alarm goes off. I’ll sit until that alarm goes off to listen to the sounds of nature and take in the colors and textures around me.

Guilt, Shame, and Rest

When you get a precious moment to rest, or even a full day or a few full days of rest, we want to make sure that this time is actually restful, and it won’t be if you’re judging yourself for resting the entire time.

I usually don’t like to assume things but I’m pretty sure I can say with confidence that you didn’t come out of the womb feeling guilty for resting. Guilt, shame, and judgment about rest is something that develops over time living in a society that only rewards productivity.

True rest can happen when you unpack all the stories you’ve been told about rest from the patriarchy and create your own beliefs about it instead

Here’s a reflection practice to release the shame of resting:

• Think about or write down all the narratives you’ve absorbed about rest from family, friends, school, work, etc
• Who has told you directly or indirectly that rest is shameful, that you should feel guilty about it, that you can “rest when you’re dead” (that’s one of the stories I was told)
• Has anyone encouraged you to rest and what have they said?
• Now ask yourself - What are your own thoughts about resting?

Forming your own beliefs about rest without the guilt can help you create your own new narrative so that rest can actually feel restful

Free Womb Connection Meditation

If you’re desiring a practice to deepen your connection with your womb, I created a free womb connection meditation to help you listen to your inner wisdom and know what your body needs in every cycle phase to feel supported

This is a 7 minute practice to be used daily or as needed to help you understand:

• The unique needs of your womb
• How your womb communicates its needs with you
• How you can meet those needs